Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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