Just mADE A PArabola og urine
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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