we're blogging at a bar
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
