I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
