Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
