Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I enjoy the company of your penis
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