Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
