I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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