she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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