I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
