I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
True but thats because hes a fetus.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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