Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
And then my night got REAL pukey
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
