Who did Billy Mays play for?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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