I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
