Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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