Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
