I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
