You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
