wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
