I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
