So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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