All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
