i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
