so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
