Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
