Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
