she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I showed him my bush... on skype.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
