He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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