he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
