I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
