Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
