My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
