No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
