She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
