At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
