Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
