I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
