VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
