Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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