Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
