Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
