I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
