She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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