Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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