I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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