i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
