wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
