Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
