Banned from zoo.
Again?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i dont even know how to be here
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
