peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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